Saying No and Letting Go

The more I grow (in both age and maturity), the more I am evaluating my “Yeses” and other things I put my energy into. There are things I have to do even if I don’t want to do them (yes, sink full of dishes, I see you). But for other things, I am becoming more and more ruthless in saying “No”.

❌ Books/movies/shows I don’t like - Welcome to the DNF pile.

❌ Projects I don’t like or want to start over - I’m not wasting my time/materials on you.

❌ Goals that no longer align with my values/desires - Bye, Felicia.

I used to finish things just for the sake of finishing it, even when I knew it wasn’t going to work out 20% of the way in. Sunk Cost Fallacy is real. But learning to let go and still have self-compassion for myself when I decide to quit is a skill I’m still building.

Someone recently was sharing a story about their kid and they said “They can be whatever they want, but they can’t be a quitter.” Granted, this person’s kid is still young and it’s valuable to be forced to learn persistence and perseverance, but it also is valuable to learn when to be a quitter. It’s also important (at least for me), to recognize that I’m allowed to be both sad when I quit and happy at the same time.

I was recently crocheting a blanket - one that I bought many many skeins of yarn to do. But the more I stitched, the more I realized “I don’t like this very much; I want to finish it but I know I won’t use it”. I decided I would add it to the Did Not Finish pile. For something so small, it seemed silly to mourn, but I did. BUT, now I can focus on using that yarn for something else.